I was speaking to a friend in Los Angeles a few days ago. She was my theatrical agent, but I value her friendship so much more. I love talking to her because she is always so energetic, so positive. But this time, she seemed like a different person. She talked about how the pandemic was affecting her, her clients, the entire entertainment industry. How everyone was afraid of what might happen. She, like almost everyone else on the planet, was gripped with fear.
I, on the other hand, for various reasons, feel relatively safe living here in Phuket. I am cautious, but not fearful. Would I be fearful if I were living back in LA? I don’t know, but I’m not, so the question is moot. But I am concerned about how the fear felt by my loved ones and friends back there is affecting them. How it’s affecting everyone, really.
So, this podcast is about fear. Because it seems that there is not better time to talk about it than now.
What is fear? Simply put, fear is the body’s emotional reaction to a thought of something bad happening, a scenario in which you say to yourself, “What if I lose my job, my home? Will I be able to protect my family? What if I get sick? What if I die?” The problem is that your body can’t tell the difference between something that happens in the present moment and something that might happen in an imaginary future. So, the body reacts to the thought as if it were happening right now. Fear then invades your body, flooding it with anxiety, tensing muscles, shortening breath, speeding up the heart…and, crucially, weakening your immune system.
Your mind, reacting to the physical changes in your body, then goes into overdrive, creating even more scenarios, which your body reacts to as well, creating a feedback loop of destructive, negative energy from which there seems to be no way out.
Like a virus, the energy of fear is contagious. Unlike a virus, though, fear is palpable, you don’t need a test to know that you have it. You can not only feel it in your body, you can feel it the air. You can see it on your television, your phone, your computer and even on the faces of strangers, the mask beneath the mask.
You may not feel that you have any control over fear, but you do. You have a way to break free from its grip when you realize and remember this truth:
In the moment that you feel fear, that which you fear does not exist.
Fear can only be created by the thought of a future, hypothetical and imaginary situation. You can only have fear of getting sick in the future. If you did become sick, you would have no fear of it because it would already have happened. So when you are afraid that you will be in danger, in that moment, there is no danger.
Fear cannot exist in the present moment.
The present moment, the now, is the only thing that is real. The future and the past are nothing but thoughts in your head, they are illusions.
The key is to overcoming fear is to bring yourself into the present moment.
This may sound like it’s easier said than done. I know that many, if not most people are not practiced at coming into present moment awareness. They are not able to separate themselves from their thoughts at will, to know that they are not their thoughts, but that they are, instead, the awareness having the thoughts, observing the thoughts.
However, this pandemic has given us an opportunity to become more present in our everyday life. It does this by forcing us to be more aware of our bodies. Before the corona virus, we paid little attention to where we placed our hands or the space around us. We were much more likely to not notice slight changes in the way our body felt. Not anymore.
In “The Power of Now”, Eckhart Tolle tell us “To inhabit your body fully. To always have some of your attention in the inner energy field of your body. To feel the body from within, so to speak. Body awareness keeps you present. It anchors you in the Now”.
Fear can sneak up on you. Often, you may find yourself overcome with anxiety before you realize it. So, use the same body awareness gained from living in this challenging time to feel your way through fear. In the same way that you have become aware of where you place your hand, or of any pain or fever that may be creeping into your body, become aware of the tension in your body, the tightness in your chest, your palpitating heart, the signals that fear is trying to take over. When you become aware of those things, stop whatever you are doing. Take a deep breath, then ask yourself the question, “What threat is there, here, in this moment?” Then, as you wait for the answer, feel the fear subside.
I was watching a YouTube video that another friend of mine, Dani Katz had posted in which she talked about how she deals with fear. She said that when she feels overcome by fear, she takes herself deeply into the fear and the feeling it produces. I watched as she placed her hands on her heart. “When I do that, I allow my larger, higher self to take the reins, so that aspect of me that is driving fear at the moment isn’t driving my ship.”, she said.
As we say here in Thailand, “Same, same.”
Sometimes, anxiety comes from being unsure of a decision that needs to be made. “If I do this, maybe this will happen, but if I do that, maybe that will happen.” Know this: the best path is always the one which arises from presence, not fear. Fear clouds the mind with extraneous thought and emotion. With presence comes clarity. And with clarity comes the right action with the best possible outcome.
When a decision needs to be made about a situation, there are three solutions to choose from, address the situation, that is, take action, ignore the situation or leave the situation. Choose one of the three, but you must accept your choice fully. Then, be at peace. If you are still unsure of which to choose, go back to your body. If your mind tells your one thing, but your gut tells you something else, go with your gut. If it feels right, it probably is right.
Use presence to decide where to place your attention. Does a Facebook post give you information that is helpful and actionable? Does it feel true? Or does it do nothing but instill fear? Take responsibility for your personal mental state by not polluting it with useless negativity. Scroll down or, better yet, put your device away and turn your attention to the now.
Perhaps the most frightening thing about living in the world today is not knowing what will happen. But is this really any different from any other time in your life? We never know what the future holds for us. But one thing is certain, when the future arrives, it will do so as the present moment.
Dealing with fear is like being on a burning ladder. When you look below you, you see flames coming closer and closer to you and you are afraid that you won’t be able to climb fast enough to keep them at bay. When you look up, you are wonder if there will be enough ladder to keep you safe. The solution is neither above nor below you. It is directly in front of you, the next rung of the ladder, easily within in your grasp. It’s called the now.I’m Tony Edwards. Peace.
“Chords of Harmony” by Aakash Gandhi
“Better Days” by Bensound
“Neither Sweat Nor Tears” by Dan Bodan
“Water Lillies” by Density & Time
